It’s only been about two weeks since we’ve spoken but words cannot describe how much I miss you. I don’t remember feeling this way about someone. It sounds so cliche, so overdone, so trashcan worthy but I have a really strange feeling it’s true. You have always been there, but I’ve never seen you, really. I don’t think you’ve seen me yet. Things would probably be a lot different if you wouldn’t see right through what is right in front of you. I’m right under your nose, waiting, and I don’t feel like waiting anymore. I feel so cliche right now and this is what it will always resort to when you feel this way, I guess.
When you actually feel something, you can never use unique words to describe it. It usually comes out similar to, “Our love is like a flower waiting to bloom, polinated by the pains of our past to become something that has learned how to be beautiful.” The thought of you with another girl gives me this strange achey feeling, almost like a broken movie playing behind my eyes yet again, a rerun of two years ago. Jealousy is not a beautiful thing, not if you’re the one who is jealous. It makes you choose hastily, lose items of value along the way, and most of the time you never get what you sought for in the first place. I can’t help but wonder, all those times I would sit in class saying, “Oh I talked to so and so yesterday and he’s so adorable…” were you the one who was jealous? Is this just payback for me trying to get to you?
I kind of get tired just sitting here, waiting for some phone call or text from you that’s going to change the course of my life forever. It’s the stimulus that makes me want to call you instead, but I’ve never been the kind of person to make the first move. I’m old fashioned, strictly believing in the boy’s duty to talk to the girl first, to make it happen. About a week ago, I was at my friend’s house and we had been watching He’s Just Not That Into You and all throughout the movie when it was just recreating my story, I had been thinking about you. They said that if guys want to be with a girl, they’ll make it happen. The woman had asked if there were exceptions and his simple answer was “You are not the exception, you are the rule” and that was it for me.
I want to be over this so badly. I don’t want to have to spend my whole summer waiting for your phone call or your MySpace message when I could be talking to other boys and getting on with my life. So far, you are the only thing holding me back, and the worst part is that you don’t know that. You are completely unaware of this whole situation that I’ve probably created on my own and spent nearly an hour writing about which is most likely nothing to you. Do boys get over girls this easily? So easily that, unlike the girl, when they meet three years later he doesn’t feel a single thing? I don’t want it to be that way.
I could spend this whole blog cursing you out over something you’ll never realize. I’m completely aware that the odds of you ever seeing this are slim to none. The odds of anything coming out of this are even worse. I could say, “You have two weeks to contact me, to make a move, to make me the exception to the rule.” But honestly, what good would that do?
You don’t have a time limit, but don’t keep me waiting forever.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Oh, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
I have read this soliloquy enough to write a novel in Nineteenth Century context. It is absolutely ridiculous. For English, I chose to memorize Juliet's soliloquy from Act III, Scene II and I think I've got it. Let's try on here without looking--
"Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
Toward Phoebus' lodging. Such a wagoner
As Phaeton would whip you to the west
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaways' eyes may wink, and Romeo
Leap to these arms, untalked of and unseen.
Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties, or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night. Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match
Played for a pair of stainless maidenhoods.
Hood my unmanned blood bating in my cheeks
With thy black mantle, till strange love, grow bold.
Come, night. Come, Romeo. Come, thou day in night,
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow upon a raven's back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-browed night.
Give me Romeo, and when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night.
Oh, I have bought the mansion of a love,
But not possessed it, and though I am sold
Not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day
As the night before some festival
To an impatient child that hath new robes
But may not wear them."
Impressive, if I do say so myself. My main problem is not knowing what it is, but when to say it and so on and so forth. I guess I'll just keep reading it over and over again. I've also got my monologue for drama, but I'm not too worried about that one. But I guess there's no harm in repeating it just to be sure.
"It's always right before I go to sleep. I take my radio from under my pillow, and I put it away, and I lie there...Sorta like dreaming, but I'm away too...We're walking on the beach, me and Brian, not holding hands or anything, just walking. The sun's going down over the ocean, there's nobody else there, you can hear the waves. Then we stop, right at the edge, and I know he's going to touch me. I look at the sky behind him and I can see the stars, I can count them, it's not even dark yet. Then he says, "Listen..." and I close my eyes and I can feel the ocean inside me, tingling, and warm, and I can't wait for him to touch me. The beach is in California. The Pacific Ocean, can you imagine? I can't even think of it, it's so far. Think we'll ever get to go there, Peg? I'd give anything to go..."
That's sort of ironic that as I was typing that, Miss California by Jack's Mannequin came up on Pandora. I absolutely adore that song; it's so well written and the lyrics are just great.
So I'm rambling, but I'll probably be back later to write more, if I get to think about anything more. Have a good day, loves.
"Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
Toward Phoebus' lodging. Such a wagoner
As Phaeton would whip you to the west
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaways' eyes may wink, and Romeo
Leap to these arms, untalked of and unseen.
Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties, or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night. Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match
Played for a pair of stainless maidenhoods.
Hood my unmanned blood bating in my cheeks
With thy black mantle, till strange love, grow bold.
Come, night. Come, Romeo. Come, thou day in night,
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow upon a raven's back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-browed night.
Give me Romeo, and when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night.
Oh, I have bought the mansion of a love,
But not possessed it, and though I am sold
Not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day
As the night before some festival
To an impatient child that hath new robes
But may not wear them."
Impressive, if I do say so myself. My main problem is not knowing what it is, but when to say it and so on and so forth. I guess I'll just keep reading it over and over again. I've also got my monologue for drama, but I'm not too worried about that one. But I guess there's no harm in repeating it just to be sure.
"It's always right before I go to sleep. I take my radio from under my pillow, and I put it away, and I lie there...Sorta like dreaming, but I'm away too...We're walking on the beach, me and Brian, not holding hands or anything, just walking. The sun's going down over the ocean, there's nobody else there, you can hear the waves. Then we stop, right at the edge, and I know he's going to touch me. I look at the sky behind him and I can see the stars, I can count them, it's not even dark yet. Then he says, "Listen..." and I close my eyes and I can feel the ocean inside me, tingling, and warm, and I can't wait for him to touch me. The beach is in California. The Pacific Ocean, can you imagine? I can't even think of it, it's so far. Think we'll ever get to go there, Peg? I'd give anything to go..."
That's sort of ironic that as I was typing that, Miss California by Jack's Mannequin came up on Pandora. I absolutely adore that song; it's so well written and the lyrics are just great.
So I'm rambling, but I'll probably be back later to write more, if I get to think about anything more. Have a good day, loves.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Senior Prank Day
T P'd buildings, columns, and trees, foamed-up fountains, food fights, and gummy bears posted everywhere. Oh but don't forget the windows painted with "2009 RUNS THIS SHOW" and treetops littered with thongs.
Senior Prank Day--always a little extra fun.
Senior Prank Day--always a little extra fun.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Don't Scream, Just Sing
Your words scream at me.
I will respond to them in a poem, since that's the only way I can get through to you.
Will you listen for once?
I will respond to them in a poem, since that's the only way I can get through to you.
Will you listen for once?
Hypocritical
Why do I always insist on writing poems about things that I don't want to tell people? I complain about people knowing what I'm talking about but then I write it over and over again and then curse myself out.
I'm a liar. Hah.
I'm a liar. Hah.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
to all those amazing women who put up with our bullshit every day.
Here's to you. <3
Here's to you. <3
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
We'll wash down this engagement ring with poison and kerosene.
Lately, I've been listening to My Chemical Romance a lot, and it's weird, because I haven't listened to them in a really long time. I used to listen to them a lot. Like, almost every day I would go through their whole discography at least twice. Now I just skip over their songs every time they come on. But I miss them, and I see them every day on my wall, so I think I'm going to start paying attention once again.
I hope they go on tour soon. I really do miss them.
I hope they go on tour soon. I really do miss them.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Yet Another Blog
I continue to do this, I don't know why. This one is called "Composition Contemplations." I just started it today. I had a notebook in my backpack and I had the sudden urge to write something in it that I had been thinking about so before I forgot, I wrote it down. The link is -- http://compositioncontemplations.blogspot.com/
I know it's a long URL but I couldn't think of anything better than the title. Anyways, check it out. I think I'll be posting daily.
I know it's a long URL but I couldn't think of anything better than the title. Anyways, check it out. I think I'll be posting daily.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Amber Pacific - The Sky Could Fall Tonight
You don't care about impossible
Something I wish I could learn from you
Write me down is the best idea you had
Watch the fire fly cause I struck the match tonight
When you help me tight through this moment in time
Pull these words off from my lips
Keep them safe, just remember that we wrote...
There's a hope
There's a light
And I see it in your eyes
And I hope you can see it in mine
(There's a secret held inside)
There's a chance
And a time
That the sky could fall tonight
And I will be here at your side
Watch as the ground turns as dark as the shadows cast on them and I disappear...
How are you perfect when I'm just wasting time
Just to coast inside and I'm waiting for the fall...
When you held me tight with a sense in your eyes
When I'm with you things are right
I'll keep you safe, just remember that we wrote...
There's a hope
There's a light
And I see it in your eyes
And I hope you can see it in mine
(And everything could fall tonight)
There's a chance
And a time
That the sky could fall tonight
And I will be here at your side
Stars are never out of reach for you just dream (Just dream...)
Hold out your hand and touch the sky
Just dream
(Just dream...)
Just dream
Tonight
There's a hope
There's a light
And I see it in your eyes
And I hope you can see it in mine
(And everything could fall tonight)
There's a chance
And a time
That the sky could fall tonight
And I will be here at your side
If the sky should fall tonight
I will be here at your side
If you fall tonight I'm here...
Something I wish I could learn from you
Write me down is the best idea you had
Watch the fire fly cause I struck the match tonight
When you help me tight through this moment in time
Pull these words off from my lips
Keep them safe, just remember that we wrote...
There's a hope
There's a light
And I see it in your eyes
And I hope you can see it in mine
(There's a secret held inside)
There's a chance
And a time
That the sky could fall tonight
And I will be here at your side
Watch as the ground turns as dark as the shadows cast on them and I disappear...
How are you perfect when I'm just wasting time
Just to coast inside and I'm waiting for the fall...
When you held me tight with a sense in your eyes
When I'm with you things are right
I'll keep you safe, just remember that we wrote...
There's a hope
There's a light
And I see it in your eyes
And I hope you can see it in mine
(And everything could fall tonight)
There's a chance
And a time
That the sky could fall tonight
And I will be here at your side
Stars are never out of reach for you just dream (Just dream...)
Hold out your hand and touch the sky
Just dream
(Just dream...)
Just dream
Tonight
There's a hope
There's a light
And I see it in your eyes
And I hope you can see it in mine
(And everything could fall tonight)
There's a chance
And a time
That the sky could fall tonight
And I will be here at your side
If the sky should fall tonight
I will be here at your side
If you fall tonight I'm here...
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Get Back
I'm going back to writing entries rather than poems. I haven't had any real inspiration for a poem lately, but I have a lot to say as if it was a journal entry, so I think I'm going back to writing those. They're a lot easier for me and, although I'm always up for a challenge, I need a more secure way to tell people things, and for you guys to read stuff. So on my other blog, you'll read more stuff about me talking to people; that's how that whole blog started, anyways.
So yeah, I'm out for now. I really need to finish reading this book, The Alchemist. It's not as good as other books I've read, but it's definitely better than A Lesson Before Dying.
Nessa.
So yeah, I'm out for now. I really need to finish reading this book, The Alchemist. It's not as good as other books I've read, but it's definitely better than A Lesson Before Dying.
Nessa.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
FCATs
can go die in a hole. I mean, they're merely a torture device used on helpless, innocent students who only want to finish high school so they can follow their dreams, whatever they may be. I, for one, would love to become an author so, unfortunately, must take this boring road to get to that. It's quite frustrating, but I'm working harder. The first section of the reading FCAT was okay; the second part had me drooling all over the workbook. It was horrible. Instead of paying attention to the stupid article about the lady who makes all these famous stamps, my mind began to wander towards a lot of random things. We don't really have to cover what those random things are, since they might give you the impression that I'm a total loser and have no life, even if that is partially true.
Anyways, after I got home from school, I decided to go sit in my family room and watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's a great movie; I remember being addicted to it since I was in first grade and had my dad buy me the first three books in the series. I fell asleep during the movie, which is typical for me because I was: a. covered in blankets and b. in a sleeping position. But what I did see of the movie was great, as per usual.
Now I'm just chilling out when I should be sleeping because tomorrow is part deux of the FCAT. For some reason, everyone, instead of saying 'two', says deux. I think it's because of Fall Out Boy and their catchy stuff. It's seriously addicting. I tried playing the FOB Trail game and failed miserably. Like, no lie. I killed the band in less than 100 miles. But at one point, I was going and only had Patrick left and it was pretty impressive how well I got on.
So yeah, that's my blog for today. Not too much interesting stuff to say. When I was drying my hair though, I came across a band that I haven't listened to in a while. They are called Nevertheless, and they are great. You should really check them out. www.myspace.com/nevertheless. Tell me what you think.
It's midnight. I think I should get some sleep. Goodnight everyone. Thanks for reading, if you did. Hah.
Nessa
Anyways, after I got home from school, I decided to go sit in my family room and watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's a great movie; I remember being addicted to it since I was in first grade and had my dad buy me the first three books in the series. I fell asleep during the movie, which is typical for me because I was: a. covered in blankets and b. in a sleeping position. But what I did see of the movie was great, as per usual.
Now I'm just chilling out when I should be sleeping because tomorrow is part deux of the FCAT. For some reason, everyone, instead of saying 'two', says deux. I think it's because of Fall Out Boy and their catchy stuff. It's seriously addicting. I tried playing the FOB Trail game and failed miserably. Like, no lie. I killed the band in less than 100 miles. But at one point, I was going and only had Patrick left and it was pretty impressive how well I got on.
So yeah, that's my blog for today. Not too much interesting stuff to say. When I was drying my hair though, I came across a band that I haven't listened to in a while. They are called Nevertheless, and they are great. You should really check them out. www.myspace.com/nevertheless. Tell me what you think.
It's midnight. I think I should get some sleep. Goodnight everyone. Thanks for reading, if you did. Hah.
Nessa
Monday, March 9, 2009
My friends
own yours. And that's for sure.
They plan the best birthday parties of life with the best bands to play, and I love them to death. And I can't even describe it. Thank you so much. <3
They plan the best birthday parties of life with the best bands to play, and I love them to death. And I can't even describe it. Thank you so much. <3
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Party Day
So I'm really really excited, even though it doesn't seem like it. I think it's just anxiety, and I'm trying to just simmer and not let it get to me. *sigh* But I am excited and very nervous. Apparently I'm supposed to cry, and if I don't, Alejandra and Stacey and Laura are gonna punch me til I cry. Laura says, "Punching won't be necessary." Who knows? Not me. :]
Ohh well. I guess we'll see. Six to seven more hours and my "surprise" will be unveiled. I guess all we need is time.
For now, I leave you with this quote--
"Here's to the fast times, the times we felt alive. For all the times that we forgot to get back home. Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me. We've got to let this go."
Ohh well. I guess we'll see. Six to seven more hours and my "surprise" will be unveiled. I guess all we need is time.
For now, I leave you with this quote--
"Here's to the fast times, the times we felt alive. For all the times that we forgot to get back home. Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me. We've got to let this go."
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Journalism Family Yearbooks
Take too much work, time, and effort. I'm only halfway done. This is so aggravating. I don't even know what to do with it now. It's gotten so boring and I can't think of ways to make it cute and unique. Speaking of which, I have to do two unique pages on our family. What is there that's unique about my family? Uhm, nothing. Exactly.
So yeah. Instead of working I'm writing this blog and it's nearly 2 AM. I don't know what's wrong with my. I need to get myself checked out before I commit sleep deprived suicide. Not that I don't take it seriously. I do. Which is why I need to get myself checked out.
Well off to not working again! I need to sleep sooner or later. Sooner sounds more appealing.
So yeah. Instead of working I'm writing this blog and it's nearly 2 AM. I don't know what's wrong with my. I need to get myself checked out before I commit sleep deprived suicide. Not that I don't take it seriously. I do. Which is why I need to get myself checked out.
Well off to not working again! I need to sleep sooner or later. Sooner sounds more appealing.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's Day
is a joke. Everyone wasted all the Valentine's spirit yesterday at school since half of them won't see each other today, and it's all so commercialized. You can sit here and tell me that I'm just being a sore, single person, but that has nothing to do with it. I find no need for all of this, and it just bothers me a lot. However, I won't prevent you from having an opinion. I just feel your opinion is stupid (on this subject matter).
Anyways, I spend my Valentine's Day at my sister's basketball game and then taking Tammy home and now I'm going to church for the youth service. I'm extremely tired and bored and I can't think of any reason to be even remotely productive, but I supposed that if I don't, I'll just have more work to do tomorrow/Monday and tomorrow I have to go dress shopping. Okay, so maybe there IS a legitimate reason for being productive.
The point of this all was for me to rant and stuff, so I'm sorry if you got extremely bored from this.
Question of the day -- who has seen Coraline? I want to see it, but I hear that it's really freaky and stuff.
Okay well it's time for me to go pick up Alejandra, so I guess I'll talk to you all later. Bye<3
Anyways, I spend my Valentine's Day at my sister's basketball game and then taking Tammy home and now I'm going to church for the youth service. I'm extremely tired and bored and I can't think of any reason to be even remotely productive, but I supposed that if I don't, I'll just have more work to do tomorrow/Monday and tomorrow I have to go dress shopping. Okay, so maybe there IS a legitimate reason for being productive.
The point of this all was for me to rant and stuff, so I'm sorry if you got extremely bored from this.
Question of the day -- who has seen Coraline? I want to see it, but I hear that it's really freaky and stuff.
Okay well it's time for me to go pick up Alejandra, so I guess I'll talk to you all later. Bye<3
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I don't have what you need.
I really, really, can't handle this. And I'm sorry that I've left you in a state of instability but I've reached the point that I can't sit here and let my own words ruin me. I'm sorry that I can't be here when you need me. But I've reached a place where words turn to dust and dust is as meaningless as this. I can spend my whole life contemplating the results if I do this or if I do that, but is it going to be worth anything? Is it going to help you become stronger? Or will I just let you down again?
I can't bear to sit here and let more people that I love down. That's what I'm doing to you, setting you up for disaster. It's not my job to destroy if what I seek is a life better than this. So sorry to disappoint, but I can't find a solution to what you need.
I can't bear to sit here and let more people that I love down. That's what I'm doing to you, setting you up for disaster. It's not my job to destroy if what I seek is a life better than this. So sorry to disappoint, but I can't find a solution to what you need.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I think everyone needs to know
that my best friends are the most amazing people of life. And sometimes, they are the reason that I don't want to ever move from this place.
Monday, February 2, 2009
I fail at blogging.
But I promise that I'll start keeping up with it, starting tomorrow.
This month is going to be good. I can feel it.
This month is going to be good. I can feel it.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Can you take me back to the person I used to be?
You know what? As much as I dislike about myself now, I would never, ever, EVER go back to the person I was over a year ago. I was going through old MySpace messages, reading surveys and other things I had done, and I can't believe that I've said so many stupid things.
Do I regret things? Of course I regret a lot of things. Should I? I don't know. But those things that I read...half of them I didn't know what I was talking about. I pretended like I knew the meanings of things that right now I can't even begin to comprehend. I don't know what was running through my mind at the time, but I don't ever want to go back and think those stupid things again.
I'm sorry for a lot of things. You'll just have to take my word for it.
Do I regret things? Of course I regret a lot of things. Should I? I don't know. But those things that I read...half of them I didn't know what I was talking about. I pretended like I knew the meanings of things that right now I can't even begin to comprehend. I don't know what was running through my mind at the time, but I don't ever want to go back and think those stupid things again.
I'm sorry for a lot of things. You'll just have to take my word for it.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The last time I went to sleep
this early was the night of Warped Tour. And I actually went to sleep at around 10:30 after finishing uploading the pictures. I haven't felt this bad since a couple of years ago where I got introduced to Mr. Trashcan about 10 times per day for two weeks. Yeah, we got married. We had a very...close relationship.
Today was pretty awesome. I went to sleep at around 5am yesterday and woke up at 2pm today. My dog got really dirty and so I was lying in my bed for another half hour, listening to my mother scream at her. Then she got a bath and everything was all right. I took a shower, made some lunch (it was a very pathetic lunch of about 10 little cheese-stuffed tortellinis), got ready, made a huge mess in my bedroom in the process, and went to church. I found out that two kids that go to my school also go to that church, and I was extremely surprised about that. Anyways, it was great.
Dinner, not so great. I was literally dying at the table. I ate a third of my dish and said I was done. Now it's sitting in my refrigerator in the little Longhorn box. Hahaha. I'll eat it tomorrow probably.
So yeah, I'm off to bed. Thank goodness for showering before The Rush. Or I'd be like, "OH MY GEEZ DEATH AWAITS ME." Oh, and while I'm gone, you should check out the Dear Jack Foundation at www.dearjackfoundation.com. It's amazing. I read about it, and I love it.
Goodnight<3
Today was pretty awesome. I went to sleep at around 5am yesterday and woke up at 2pm today. My dog got really dirty and so I was lying in my bed for another half hour, listening to my mother scream at her. Then she got a bath and everything was all right. I took a shower, made some lunch (it was a very pathetic lunch of about 10 little cheese-stuffed tortellinis), got ready, made a huge mess in my bedroom in the process, and went to church. I found out that two kids that go to my school also go to that church, and I was extremely surprised about that. Anyways, it was great.
Dinner, not so great. I was literally dying at the table. I ate a third of my dish and said I was done. Now it's sitting in my refrigerator in the little Longhorn box. Hahaha. I'll eat it tomorrow probably.
So yeah, I'm off to bed. Thank goodness for showering before The Rush. Or I'd be like, "OH MY GEEZ DEATH AWAITS ME." Oh, and while I'm gone, you should check out the Dear Jack Foundation at www.dearjackfoundation.com. It's amazing. I read about it, and I love it.
Goodnight<3
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Space.
I don't ever really get the chance to blog. I've been so busy lately, studying for midterms, helping out my sick mother, having a nice social life, trying to find cute boys to follow, etc. It's all very stressful. Right now is really the only time I get to compose my thoughts and even now I need to be writing a paper on Medea for my English midterm. But I keep getting distracted from everything that I need to be doing. I feel that I've been so distant lately. Is that what I need? Do I need to set myself apart from the real world to take some time for myself and sort everything out?
I feel that this distance is causing a lot of distress between people I love. It doesn't allow them to realize what I want and what I need, so when I go for these things and leave them with questions, they become upset with me. But I can't help it when people don't want to listen to me. I mean, if you really cared, wouldn't you listen? Wouldn't you realize that this space is exactly what I need, even if just for a little while?
I don't want to find out. But I feel like it's right.
How can you listen to your gut when all it's making is sounds of sickness?
I feel that this distance is causing a lot of distress between people I love. It doesn't allow them to realize what I want and what I need, so when I go for these things and leave them with questions, they become upset with me. But I can't help it when people don't want to listen to me. I mean, if you really cared, wouldn't you listen? Wouldn't you realize that this space is exactly what I need, even if just for a little while?
I don't want to find out. But I feel like it's right.
How can you listen to your gut when all it's making is sounds of sickness?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
To Write Love On Her Arms
A little over a year ago, my friend posted a bulletin on MySpace. It was legnthy, but I decided to read it. The bulletin described an organization called To Write Love On Her Arms. At the time, I was like, "What is this?" but I kept reading.
The story of Renee came into play, and I was touched to know that there were people that cared. Most of my family has been diagnosed with depression. One night, I became extremely overwhelmed and had a partial meltdown, and that was when my mother confessed to me how worried she was that I was turning into what she used to be. She asked me if I had thoughts of committing suicide or self harm and I denied it. But I had all the same symptoms, and that worried her.
My friend attempted suicide last year. When I heard about it, I was naturally devastated, of course. It was the first experience I had ever had that included near death of someone close to me that was actually deliberate. I turned to the comfort of TWLOHA, knowing that there would always be someone there who would listen. They have been the stregnth of so many others to wake up and see that there's so much more to life than dying at the end.
Depression is a horrible thing. It hits home to so many people and affects everyone, no matter how indirectly. Without TWLOHA, I don't know how different the world could be, but I can infer that it would be terrible. We would lose our loved ones more often than not, and the only inspiration that we had would've been gone. But thanks to To Write Love On Her Arms, so many people finally see and understand. And I am forever grateful.
You've saved my life and the lives of many others.
The story of Renee came into play, and I was touched to know that there were people that cared. Most of my family has been diagnosed with depression. One night, I became extremely overwhelmed and had a partial meltdown, and that was when my mother confessed to me how worried she was that I was turning into what she used to be. She asked me if I had thoughts of committing suicide or self harm and I denied it. But I had all the same symptoms, and that worried her.
My friend attempted suicide last year. When I heard about it, I was naturally devastated, of course. It was the first experience I had ever had that included near death of someone close to me that was actually deliberate. I turned to the comfort of TWLOHA, knowing that there would always be someone there who would listen. They have been the stregnth of so many others to wake up and see that there's so much more to life than dying at the end.
Depression is a horrible thing. It hits home to so many people and affects everyone, no matter how indirectly. Without TWLOHA, I don't know how different the world could be, but I can infer that it would be terrible. We would lose our loved ones more often than not, and the only inspiration that we had would've been gone. But thanks to To Write Love On Her Arms, so many people finally see and understand. And I am forever grateful.
You've saved my life and the lives of many others.
New Personal Blog
Hey everyone, this is Anyssa, obviously.
Well, I'm not really new to the concept of blogging. I have another blog through here called A Dose Of Regret, which is where I post things that I have written. I love to write, and I always feel the need for opinions. Today I felt that I wanted to add onto it and make my own personal blog in which I can just say things. That's what Confessions of a Band Addict is for. I'll probably post daily, so check back!
-Anyssa<3
Well, I'm not really new to the concept of blogging. I have another blog through here called A Dose Of Regret, which is where I post things that I have written. I love to write, and I always feel the need for opinions. Today I felt that I wanted to add onto it and make my own personal blog in which I can just say things. That's what Confessions of a Band Addict is for. I'll probably post daily, so check back!
-Anyssa<3
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