Scratch that.

Apparently I have a Valentine.

Valentine's Day

is a joke. Everyone wasted all the Valentine's spirit yesterday at school since half of them won't see each other today, and it's all so commercialized. You can sit here and tell me that I'm just being a sore, single person, but that has nothing to do with it. I find no need for all of this, and it just bothers me a lot. However, I won't prevent you from having an opinion. I just feel your opinion is stupid (on this subject matter).

Anyways, I spend my Valentine's Day at my sister's basketball game and then taking Tammy home and now I'm going to church for the youth service. I'm extremely tired and bored and I can't think of any reason to be even remotely productive, but I supposed that if I don't, I'll just have more work to do tomorrow/Monday and tomorrow I have to go dress shopping. Okay, so maybe there IS a legitimate reason for being productive.

The point of this all was for me to rant and stuff, so I'm sorry if you got extremely bored from this.

Question of the day -- who has seen Coraline? I want to see it, but I hear that it's really freaky and stuff.

Okay well it's time for me to go pick up Alejandra, so I guess I'll talk to you all later. Bye<3

I don't have what you need.

I really, really, can't handle this. And I'm sorry that I've left you in a state of instability but I've reached the point that I can't sit here and let my own words ruin me. I'm sorry that I can't be here when you need me. But I've reached a place where words turn to dust and dust is as meaningless as this. I can spend my whole life contemplating the results if I do this or if I do that, but is it going to be worth anything? Is it going to help you become stronger? Or will I just let you down again?

I can't bear to sit here and let more people that I love down. That's what I'm doing to you, setting you up for disaster. It's not my job to destroy if what I seek is a life better than this. So sorry to disappoint, but I can't find a solution to what you need.

I think everyone needs to know

that my best friends are the most amazing people of life. And sometimes, they are the reason that I don't want to ever move from this place.

I fail at blogging.

But I promise that I'll start keeping up with it, starting tomorrow.

This month is going to be good. I can feel it.

Can you take me back to the person I used to be?

You know what? As much as I dislike about myself now, I would never, ever, EVER go back to the person I was over a year ago. I was going through old MySpace messages, reading surveys and other things I had done, and I can't believe that I've said so many stupid things.

Do I regret things? Of course I regret a lot of things. Should I? I don't know. But those things that I read...half of them I didn't know what I was talking about. I pretended like I knew the meanings of things that right now I can't even begin to comprehend. I don't know what was running through my mind at the time, but I don't ever want to go back and think those stupid things again.

I'm sorry for a lot of things. You'll just have to take my word for it.

The last time I went to sleep

this early was the night of Warped Tour. And I actually went to sleep at around 10:30 after finishing uploading the pictures. I haven't felt this bad since a couple of years ago where I got introduced to Mr. Trashcan about 10 times per day for two weeks. Yeah, we got married. We had a very...close relationship.

Today was pretty awesome. I went to sleep at around 5am yesterday and woke up at 2pm today. My dog got really dirty and so I was lying in my bed for another half hour, listening to my mother scream at her. Then she got a bath and everything was all right. I took a shower, made some lunch (it was a very pathetic lunch of about 10 little cheese-stuffed tortellinis), got ready, made a huge mess in my bedroom in the process, and went to church. I found out that two kids that go to my school also go to that church, and I was extremely surprised about that. Anyways, it was great.

Dinner, not so great. I was literally dying at the table. I ate a third of my dish and said I was done. Now it's sitting in my refrigerator in the little Longhorn box. Hahaha. I'll eat it tomorrow probably.

So yeah, I'm off to bed. Thank goodness for showering before The Rush. Or I'd be like, "OH MY GEEZ DEATH AWAITS ME." Oh, and while I'm gone, you should check out the Dear Jack Foundation at www.dearjackfoundation.com. It's amazing. I read about it, and I love it.

Goodnight<3