Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It's Really Nice To Know You Think We're All Outta Time
It’s only been about two weeks since we’ve spoken but words cannot describe how much I miss you. I don’t remember feeling this way about someone. It sounds so cliche, so overdone, so trashcan worthy but I have a really strange feeling it’s true. You have always been there, but I’ve never seen you, really. I don’t think you’ve seen me yet. Things would probably be a lot different if you wouldn’t see right through what is right in front of you. I’m right under your nose, waiting, and I don’t feel like waiting anymore. I feel so cliche right now and this is what it will always resort to when you feel this way, I guess.
When you actually feel something, you can never use unique words to describe it. It usually comes out similar to, “Our love is like a flower waiting to bloom, polinated by the pains of our past to become something that has learned how to be beautiful.” The thought of you with another girl gives me this strange achey feeling, almost like a broken movie playing behind my eyes yet again, a rerun of two years ago. Jealousy is not a beautiful thing, not if you’re the one who is jealous. It makes you choose hastily, lose items of value along the way, and most of the time you never get what you sought for in the first place. I can’t help but wonder, all those times I would sit in class saying, “Oh I talked to so and so yesterday and he’s so adorable…” were you the one who was jealous? Is this just payback for me trying to get to you?
I kind of get tired just sitting here, waiting for some phone call or text from you that’s going to change the course of my life forever. It’s the stimulus that makes me want to call you instead, but I’ve never been the kind of person to make the first move. I’m old fashioned, strictly believing in the boy’s duty to talk to the girl first, to make it happen. About a week ago, I was at my friend’s house and we had been watching He’s Just Not That Into You and all throughout the movie when it was just recreating my story, I had been thinking about you. They said that if guys want to be with a girl, they’ll make it happen. The woman had asked if there were exceptions and his simple answer was “You are not the exception, you are the rule” and that was it for me.
I want to be over this so badly. I don’t want to have to spend my whole summer waiting for your phone call or your MySpace message when I could be talking to other boys and getting on with my life. So far, you are the only thing holding me back, and the worst part is that you don’t know that. You are completely unaware of this whole situation that I’ve probably created on my own and spent nearly an hour writing about which is most likely nothing to you. Do boys get over girls this easily? So easily that, unlike the girl, when they meet three years later he doesn’t feel a single thing? I don’t want it to be that way.
I could spend this whole blog cursing you out over something you’ll never realize. I’m completely aware that the odds of you ever seeing this are slim to none. The odds of anything coming out of this are even worse. I could say, “You have two weeks to contact me, to make a move, to make me the exception to the rule.” But honestly, what good would that do?
You don’t have a time limit, but don’t keep me waiting forever.
When you actually feel something, you can never use unique words to describe it. It usually comes out similar to, “Our love is like a flower waiting to bloom, polinated by the pains of our past to become something that has learned how to be beautiful.” The thought of you with another girl gives me this strange achey feeling, almost like a broken movie playing behind my eyes yet again, a rerun of two years ago. Jealousy is not a beautiful thing, not if you’re the one who is jealous. It makes you choose hastily, lose items of value along the way, and most of the time you never get what you sought for in the first place. I can’t help but wonder, all those times I would sit in class saying, “Oh I talked to so and so yesterday and he’s so adorable…” were you the one who was jealous? Is this just payback for me trying to get to you?
I kind of get tired just sitting here, waiting for some phone call or text from you that’s going to change the course of my life forever. It’s the stimulus that makes me want to call you instead, but I’ve never been the kind of person to make the first move. I’m old fashioned, strictly believing in the boy’s duty to talk to the girl first, to make it happen. About a week ago, I was at my friend’s house and we had been watching He’s Just Not That Into You and all throughout the movie when it was just recreating my story, I had been thinking about you. They said that if guys want to be with a girl, they’ll make it happen. The woman had asked if there were exceptions and his simple answer was “You are not the exception, you are the rule” and that was it for me.
I want to be over this so badly. I don’t want to have to spend my whole summer waiting for your phone call or your MySpace message when I could be talking to other boys and getting on with my life. So far, you are the only thing holding me back, and the worst part is that you don’t know that. You are completely unaware of this whole situation that I’ve probably created on my own and spent nearly an hour writing about which is most likely nothing to you. Do boys get over girls this easily? So easily that, unlike the girl, when they meet three years later he doesn’t feel a single thing? I don’t want it to be that way.
I could spend this whole blog cursing you out over something you’ll never realize. I’m completely aware that the odds of you ever seeing this are slim to none. The odds of anything coming out of this are even worse. I could say, “You have two weeks to contact me, to make a move, to make me the exception to the rule.” But honestly, what good would that do?
You don’t have a time limit, but don’t keep me waiting forever.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Oh, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
I have read this soliloquy enough to write a novel in Nineteenth Century context. It is absolutely ridiculous. For English, I chose to memorize Juliet's soliloquy from Act III, Scene II and I think I've got it. Let's try on here without looking--
"Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
Toward Phoebus' lodging. Such a wagoner
As Phaeton would whip you to the west
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaways' eyes may wink, and Romeo
Leap to these arms, untalked of and unseen.
Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties, or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night. Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match
Played for a pair of stainless maidenhoods.
Hood my unmanned blood bating in my cheeks
With thy black mantle, till strange love, grow bold.
Come, night. Come, Romeo. Come, thou day in night,
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow upon a raven's back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-browed night.
Give me Romeo, and when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night.
Oh, I have bought the mansion of a love,
But not possessed it, and though I am sold
Not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day
As the night before some festival
To an impatient child that hath new robes
But may not wear them."
Impressive, if I do say so myself. My main problem is not knowing what it is, but when to say it and so on and so forth. I guess I'll just keep reading it over and over again. I've also got my monologue for drama, but I'm not too worried about that one. But I guess there's no harm in repeating it just to be sure.
"It's always right before I go to sleep. I take my radio from under my pillow, and I put it away, and I lie there...Sorta like dreaming, but I'm away too...We're walking on the beach, me and Brian, not holding hands or anything, just walking. The sun's going down over the ocean, there's nobody else there, you can hear the waves. Then we stop, right at the edge, and I know he's going to touch me. I look at the sky behind him and I can see the stars, I can count them, it's not even dark yet. Then he says, "Listen..." and I close my eyes and I can feel the ocean inside me, tingling, and warm, and I can't wait for him to touch me. The beach is in California. The Pacific Ocean, can you imagine? I can't even think of it, it's so far. Think we'll ever get to go there, Peg? I'd give anything to go..."
That's sort of ironic that as I was typing that, Miss California by Jack's Mannequin came up on Pandora. I absolutely adore that song; it's so well written and the lyrics are just great.
So I'm rambling, but I'll probably be back later to write more, if I get to think about anything more. Have a good day, loves.
"Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,
Toward Phoebus' lodging. Such a wagoner
As Phaeton would whip you to the west
And bring in cloudy night immediately.
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night,
That runaways' eyes may wink, and Romeo
Leap to these arms, untalked of and unseen.
Lovers can see to do their amorous rites
By their own beauties, or, if love be blind,
It best agrees with night. Come, civil night,
Thou sober-suited matron, all in black,
And learn me how to lose a winning match
Played for a pair of stainless maidenhoods.
Hood my unmanned blood bating in my cheeks
With thy black mantle, till strange love, grow bold.
Come, night. Come, Romeo. Come, thou day in night,
For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night
Whiter than new snow upon a raven's back.
Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-browed night.
Give me Romeo, and when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night.
Oh, I have bought the mansion of a love,
But not possessed it, and though I am sold
Not yet enjoyed. So tedious is this day
As the night before some festival
To an impatient child that hath new robes
But may not wear them."
Impressive, if I do say so myself. My main problem is not knowing what it is, but when to say it and so on and so forth. I guess I'll just keep reading it over and over again. I've also got my monologue for drama, but I'm not too worried about that one. But I guess there's no harm in repeating it just to be sure.
"It's always right before I go to sleep. I take my radio from under my pillow, and I put it away, and I lie there...Sorta like dreaming, but I'm away too...We're walking on the beach, me and Brian, not holding hands or anything, just walking. The sun's going down over the ocean, there's nobody else there, you can hear the waves. Then we stop, right at the edge, and I know he's going to touch me. I look at the sky behind him and I can see the stars, I can count them, it's not even dark yet. Then he says, "Listen..." and I close my eyes and I can feel the ocean inside me, tingling, and warm, and I can't wait for him to touch me. The beach is in California. The Pacific Ocean, can you imagine? I can't even think of it, it's so far. Think we'll ever get to go there, Peg? I'd give anything to go..."
That's sort of ironic that as I was typing that, Miss California by Jack's Mannequin came up on Pandora. I absolutely adore that song; it's so well written and the lyrics are just great.
So I'm rambling, but I'll probably be back later to write more, if I get to think about anything more. Have a good day, loves.
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